Shades of the Moon

He leaned across the bench seat to touch the curl of her damp collar and trace the waved line down to the first fastened button of her blouse. It was a warm night, dusty and moonlit, the opening curtain on summer, and she was married, but that was back in the bar.

“Don’t be shy,” she said.

He wasn’t being shy, he thought, and it wasn’t shyness that drew her to him or that made her firm in the smooth heat of his palm. It was the many blackbird questions set loose and flying away to the moment on the other side of this, their first kiss.

“He doesn’t think about me,” she said. “Don’t you think about him.”

He kissed her sweetly. “Does he own a gun?” he asked.

“I’ve never seen it,” she said.

“How could he be tired of you?”

She looked aside even as his fingertips touched her chin and brought his eyes back to hers.

They kissed again and drew close.

“He travels too much,” he said.

“Tell me.”

“And I bet he’s tired all the time, watches tv every night while you do what—cook, clean, write the checks, raise the kids. Who takes care of mama?”

“You just don’t know.”

“Oh, I think I do.”

The two shadows grew small and rounded in the ascending moonlight.

Posted in Creative Writing, Short-Short Stories | Leave a comment

The Collector

Sandra blamed John’s unemployment for his confusion.

They were finally lonely together, like two birds mated for a season and subject to the mysterious light of autumn that would bid them go.  What she had seen in him, she still saw–the gentle and perceptive eyes, the large hands roughened by washing dishes at The Grill, the heart of one who sees things and cannot forget.  In fact the man was an endearing collection of memories, and it was sad to see him subdued by them when the drum of her own life beat loud.

He said he didn’t understand how or why he had failed.  He had been as compromising and practical as it was possible for him to be, and, she agreed, didn’t she, that his work was good, so what was the matter?  Of course, there was politics, but there were people much less politic than himself who were doing well . . . .

She listened.  She forgave him.  She believed that he knew what he was about, and it was really not his fault that he couldn’t get hitched into the economy.  She told him that he would never have to apologize to her for what he did.

He said he would never, in any case, apologize to her.  He could not bring himself to do it, she wouldn’t let him do it, and he seemed to understand through that just how very much she loved him.

“I want to stand with you,” she had said, her arms full of the damp laundry she hung out on the line once a week, “but it’s hard to believe in the future.”  What she had meant was his future.  As he turned back to his work, her wreck of a heart made her wish she had said nothing, but she went bravely down the rickety back steps of their home and into the dirt yard where the clothes line was.  A cardinal perched amid the waxy leaves of a small holly whistled for a moment as if to draw her attention before its dark feathers spotted the air like blood and vanished in the cooling afternoon light.

Posted in Creative Writing, Short-Short Stories | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Compulsive Post — City Park Ducks, Hagerstown, Maryland, July 2008

Posted in Old Photographs, Photographs, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

July’s Stormy Hot Weather Retreat

Storm Coming, Hagerstown, Maryland, July 18, 2012.

“Gal Pal”: married!

Georgia Boy, Tuesday Nights: done.

Staycation: on.

I really don’t want to be bothered.

Although there are many ways for being bothered.

First to go: the volunteer analyzing, arguing, and tracking both the Islamic Small Wars and the Middle East Conflict.

By my own authority, I am ordering myself off to 30 days fundamental R&R on all that.

I expect the conflicts will survive my absence.

Next in line: bon voyage, Facebook buddies.

From Riyadh to Lahore, London to Tel Aviv, sail on through the magnetosphere without me, me ever brave and true revolutionary mates.

You’ll be fine.

It’s I who need the Big Break from continuous chatyping, not that I haven’t enjoyed and been intellectually, socially, and spiritually (but not financially) enriched by it.

Next layer removed: the synagogue, the committees, the choir — not that much of that’s going on anyway.  When I get bored, I’ll help out with the new web and chat some about a certain incompletely conceptualized garden and park — but that’s all!

Easy on the Island, Hunter Hill, Hagerstown, Maryland, July 2012.

No need to move the feet: one just takes the mind somewhere else, and so I am packing up mine and taking it to Hemingway and Le Carré.

Posted in 19th Century Modern, Journal | Leave a comment

Gig Bumped by the Skyla Burrell Blues Band Jam

Skyla Burrell Blues Band Jam at the Georgia Boy Cafe, Hagerstown, Maryland, July 17, 2012.

All gig things must pass, and after playing Tuesday nights for about nine months at The Georgia Boy Cafe on the south side of Hagerstown, well . . . I feel due for a month’s true vacation.

A month of Sundays . . . .

After which, the Mustang and I may wind up with a compact Bose L-Series PA (fits in the trunk with the guitar, or should) because there are other restaurants and other towns, also, already, other private parties on the calendar.

And, who knows, one day I may be back at the old haunt.

And all things considered — listen, the “gal pal” (for me: difficult long sublimely beautiful story) stopped by recently to hang out AND to let me know she (quietly) got married last week.

Stinker.

Or . . . “Woohoo!”

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate and love the dramas and issues I don’t have!

— One must always move on.

So back to music: I got the call as I was getting ready to pick up the guitar case and gig bag.

Good thing: there’s a music circle — round-robin jamming — at a coffee shop a mile away, and I played with that crowd through the early evening.

Hagerstown Port City Java Tuesday Night Music Circle and Guests, November 1, 2011. Players left to right: Billy Tyler, Dino Delray, David Dishneau, Joe Kuhna.

Then I left for the bar.

Instead of earning tomorrow’s lunch and then some, I spent a few bucks for a beer and popcorn shrimp before getting up to play and sing through old classics — Dylan’s “Meet Me In the Morning”, Springsteen’s “Pink Cadillac”, that sort of thing, and a sweet version of “Me and Bobby McGee”.

I had my old energy, well 57 going on about 28, and got soaked churnin’ it out.

Skyla’s got at least one photo  from all that up on her Facebook page.

Of the fine and lively and sometimes positively out-on-the-edge arts, music produces its share of the best, most athlete-of-the-heart moments, connections, and memories.

Not “even while” but “most when” inhabiting a song, things happen.

And they are beautiful.

So I — and I believe everyone there tonight — had a good night.

Is it the work I should be doing?

How much is it going to cost (this time)?

Can I afford it?

Can I afford not doing it?

There is no adolescent dreaming, no youthful pressure to get established.  Simply being able to be the very best “writer, musician, and photographer” I can be, however obscure or poor, has turned out a kind of “win”, the meaning and quality of which has no measure.

On the other hand, there is that nagging “prove something” factor, that “want it” and “how bad”, and when 30 minutes of a set (with pretty good musicians I have never met) has gone well, it teases.

Will I be able to sell my prints?

How about a few songs?

We shall see.

—-

Photography: top at the Georgia Boy Cafe: Panasonic Lumix Lx5 on auto with the pop-up flash; Port City Java: Nikon D200 with the SB-600 on-camera flash with a Sto-Fen modifier.

—-

Skyla Burrell Blues Band: http://www.skylaburrell.com/fr_home.cfm

# # #

Posted in Journal, Showbiz | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunset, Georgetown, Maryland 2005

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Old Work

I’ve not a lot to say about old work.

It should go without saying that my so far very small adventure in photography started with a manual Single Lens Reflect (SLR) camera, a Minolta SRT 100, and Tri-X film and Microdol developer.  By the time I got to the hair-pull portrait in the previous post, I was up to a Mamiya 645 AF and two or three studio lamps (although no studio — the picture was made in my former apartment’s L-shaped and furnished dining and living space).  Having converted the walk-in closet, I was then also able to do the developing and printing ye olden way.

There’s a framed copy today on the wall next to the hutch I use as a bar in the dining room (remember: my “crib” is the “mansion inside of a cabin inside of an apartment by the woods on the eastern edge of western Maryland”).

I feel awful about the old film gear, now shelf ware, more or less, because it takes a certain level of “good excuse” to support the materials costs and time associated with that route, but perhaps now and then it would feel good to be out in the field with “old school” equipment and prayers that 1) the subject is worth it, 2) the technique is working, and 3) the lab won’t screw up the whole effort.

In the digital department, my non-existent studio (really, it is just my mind and my computer plus gear plus Mustang and place where I now live), things are okay.

I can still shoot weddings.

And a lot of other things beside.

Big Bertha, the HP B9180 printer with a life cycle and mind of its own, should be good for a few more sheets, but some things, like my field battery (not working) are ageing into uselessness, and unless the phone rings (a lot), I’m not going to replace them.

As suggested, I’m not dead yet, and there’s plenty of gear ready to go out and be worked, but it’s true I never thought I would be so isolated and tired.  The truth is I’ve just about run out the clock on any sort of conventional success, and in the area of unconventional success, I’m not sure there’s anything left for me to enjoy although — this to God and fate — if there’s anything good in store for me, you best bring it on about now!

Let’s assume the routine continuation of unanswered prayers for at least the rest of the afternoon: in retrospect, my success seems to be just being here, lucky and damned, but still writing, playing music somewhere, still holding on to the inventory in photography, and still doing a little bit with photography, albeit looking over old pictures may be about as little as one can do in this field — one-third of my unexpected bid for a personal trifecta — before doing nothing in it at all.

Posted in Journal, Photography | Leave a comment

No Racier Than This Here

Posted in Models, Old Photographs | Leave a comment

That Look!

Posted in Models, Old Photographs | Leave a comment

Shade

Posted in Models, Old Photographs | Leave a comment

Quiet

Old pictures don’t tell stories, but old photographers do.

I am only drifting.

I am only not talking.

Posted in Journal | Leave a comment

A Girl in a Garden

Posted in Models, Old Photographs, Photography | 1 Comment